I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
