i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
