no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
