I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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