I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
