Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I want to have your abortion
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
