happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
