so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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