woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
