youre lurking in front of me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
cat food counts as protein by the way
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
