Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
