how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
