My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
