we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
