We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
