Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
