Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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