Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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