Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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