yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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