she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
