I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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