Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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