My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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