What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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