Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
