we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
