I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This is the high leading the old right now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
