Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
