Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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