So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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