just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
