How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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