and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
