sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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