quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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