I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
