dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
