tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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