this boner is exhausting
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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