I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
