some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
