My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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