you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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