I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
