Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
