And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
