i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
