It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
