You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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